Drinking Culture

I've been reflecting on a recent dinner and drinks with the team at work. A colleague of mine was confused why I didn't want a beer or glass of wine with my food. I told them I wasn't in the mood to drink and was perfectly happy with a lemonade and a glass of water. After I explained this something changed on their face, almost like they were offended and couldn't compute what I had just said. They then grabbed a wine glass and proceeded to pour me a glass of wine while saying "No, no you have to have a drink! How can you not want a drink!"

I'm sure my colleague meant no harm by this interaction, and was merely trying to get me to join in with the drinking and wanted me to have a good time, but it was an interesting reminder of the relationship so many people have with alcohol. My colleague pushing me to drink revealed a lot about their own relationship with alcohol, and this relationship is by no means unique to just them. As a nation we have a weird relationship with drinking and it's something I've never really understood.

British Culture

I'm not teetotal. I will occasionally drink a glass of wine when going out for dinner with my girlfriend, or the odd beer if offered one (although I'm yet to find one that doesn't taste awful), but I will often simply choose not to drink. I grew up in an environment where nobody drinks. My mother doesn't drink except occasionally on New Years Eve and I have very few memories of my dad drinking too - Occasionally when he used to get fish and chips for dinner he'd also grab a bottle of cider. I can't recall a single time I've seen either of my parents drunk either.

A lot of my friends and colleagues grew up in more typical British families where drinking and going to the pub was commonplace. Having nights out, getting drunk and then spending the weekend recovering is a typical British experience for many, and it was for me at university too. I have a lot of fun memories of being in my late teens and early twenties staggering home drunk after having a laugh with friends. There's nothing inherently wrong with people drinking or getting drunk if they enjoy it, but it's an experience that I feel that I have grown out of.

Drinking for a lot of people isn't even really about the drink, but more about the social bonding they do while drinking. It helps loosen people up and feel less uptight or awkward. Given the British stereotypes of us all being uptight and awkward, maybe drinking for people is really one of the few ways we manage to relax when around others. Being someone who was especially socially awkward in my teens and twenties, alcohol really helped build connections with people. Now that I'm a bit older, I find no real need to drink to connect with people, nor do I particularly enjoy being around people who have been drinking.

Choosing Not To Drink

Over the last few years I have really only drank alcohol when out with colleagues purely to fit in and be polite. I never really wanted to, but I did it to not be the odd one out. About a year ago, a colleague of mine told me they don't drink because they don't like the taste and just generally don't enjoy it. It was almost like a penny had dropped in my brain and I finally found the courage to also not drink when I was out with work. It's almost like I never realised I actually had the choice to not drink.

Choosing not to drink felt like a Camusian act of rebellion. Rejecting a cultural norm that is so deeply engrained in the British psyche felt freeing, especially if you don't care about how others will see or judge you for doing so. I suspect most people who regularly drink have never actually sat there and thought about why they drink, or whether they even actually like it in the first place.

For the period of time I used my WHOOP, it was also clear the negative impact that drinking was having on my sleep. We're all accustomed to the dreaded hangover and taking a day or two to recover from a night of drinking, but being presented with the data first hand really hit home what alcohol does to us while we sleep. It seems that a lot of people who use health trackers like WHOOP or Oura have reported a similar experience, and a lot of them have dialled down their drinking as a result too. The enjoyment of drinking wasn't worth the cost of needing to spend multiple days recovering afterwards.

Ultimately I'm comfortable on my decision to not drink regularly, and I am comfortable talking to people who are surprised or even disagree with my decision. I feel happier and healthier for doing so, but each to their own.